Life's Lessons

I first met Coach W at Lincoln Elementary, the 5th grade. He was our gym teacher. Just recently moved from inner city Buffalo, I knew no one, and was intimidated by the class bully. Coach was teaching wrestling in the fall. We were all sitting around the mats when he asked for volunteers - not a single hand went up. So he decided to start pairing us. The first pair he called was the bully and ME! How humiliating to be defeated in front of all the boys. He blew his whistle and we started wrestling. I ended up pinning the bully, to my own and everyone else's astonishment. I remember being surrounded by the other boys, cheering and slapping me on the back - it was a Wonder Years moment. As I walked off the mat I looked at Coach. He was smiling at me, eyes sparkling, silently telling me to believe in myself and to tap into the strength I didn't even know I had. In that moment I was no longer afraid, would never be afraid again of the bullies of the world.

Several years later, in the high school, when 7th and 8th grades were on the first floor, he invited me to try out for the Freshman Basketball team after a stellar intramural session. We went 0-12 that year, but it taught me a very important lesson - winning isn't everything! How you handle loss and defeat, picking yourself up, analyzing what you could have done better, working on correcting your deficiencies, holding your head up, and getting back into the game, giving it your best effort is what really counts. There is no disgrace in defeat if you did your best. At the end of the season Coach came up to me, put his hand on my shoulder, and hoped that I would be back next season. I was, we went 1-11 my freshman year under Coach H. Our combined record for 2-years was 1-23. My sophomore year, in JV with Coach H, we won our league, beating Lancaster, Cheektowaga, and St. Mary's (by 1 point, on their court) in the final three games. And there was Coach W on the sidelines with those smiling, warm eyes, looking proudly at me, patting me on the back. Another lesson learned - persistence.

What I learned from this quiet, gentle man has served me well in life - dignity, respect, sportsmanship, compassion, persistence, and dedication. I never told him in words, I let my eyes do the talking.